At the top of the year, I wrote a bit about some of the things I wanted to accomplish, improve, or just change in 2012. Since this is apparently no longer a blog about web design, let’s talk about me some more.
I’m still not fat
The first thing I discussed last time around was a desire to keep off some of the weight I’d lost the year before, and continue to make gains. Well, I didn’t get fat again, but I certainly didn’t make much progress. It wasn’t easy to get fit the first time around, but I was ultra-motivated by an overwhelming sense of self-disgust. Maybe that’s what it takes. I’m gonna try to be even more disgusted for a while and see how that goes. Stay tuned.
I don’t play the banjo
I got as far as learning a few rolls and most of a simple song and feel right off the wagon. I don’t know why. I don’t like sucking at things, so it’s sometimes hard for me to pick up new activities, especially when other people are around. File that under “get the fuck over it”, I guess. I really hate the goddam finger picks, too, but I imagine that’s something I’ll get used to. So… not great news in this category.
I don’t speak French
Well, I do.. a little. I actually did a great job of keeping up with my Rosetta Stone French lessons for a while. Then, I didn’t anymore. No explanation a here either. IO got pretty far, though, and it was actually pretty useful on our trip to Europe. I sat down and took a French lesson last week for the first time in a while and it felt pretty good. It’s tougher to motivate without an upcoming European trip, but I’m gonna try to stick with it all the same.
Self improvement is masturbation
I never really understood the meaning behind that line from Fight Club. I mean, I get the sentiment Mr. Durden is trying to express, but something about the analogy never quite held water for me. Strange that I’ve thought of it so many times.
So the upshot is: This year hasn’t been a rollicking success, self-improvement-wise, but it’s been a solid attempt. I’m not a brand new Jason, but I’m a little bit better about a few little things. The trick now is to continue to do work and not get bummed out about my progress. These are pedestrian, everyday problems, I know. I’ll try to come up with some more exotic issues soon.
In addition to sticking with the aforementioned goals, I’ve decided to deal with a few health and well-being issues this year. For one, I sleep like shit. I have what they call “middle-of-the-night insomnia” (seriously, that’s what they call it). This is any condition that causes you to sleep lightly or poorly or wake up frequently at night for no good reason. In general, I get a pretty poor quality of sleep and wake up exhausted (often with this song in my head). I broke the bank on a new mattress, pad, pillows, and sheets, and Claire gave me an amazing Pendleton blanket for my birthday. The new gear has helped, and certainly made the experience of going to bed more pleasureable. I still have some work to do to figure out what wakes me up at night, but I’m done pretending it’s a normal, acceptable way to be.
I have hay fever. That’s a hick term for seasonal allergies, which is an imprecise way to say that my body overreacts to the presence of certain molds and pollens in the air. Unfortunately, I suffer from this stuff pretty much year-round to varying degrees. Like my sleep issues, I’ve dealt with it for so long that I’d forgotten it wasn’t normal. I finally went to a doctor and got put on a series of sprays and pills and antibiotics. There has been a marked improvement, and I’m hopeful that it’ll keep getting better. Honestly, these little things can add up and really fuck up your baseline happiness during the course of a day. I deserve to breathe properly.
That’s it for today. Keep checking back for more dry, boring, overly personal stream-of-consciousness complaining on what used to be a professional blog and has now clearly become the online diary of a 15-year-old girl.